ACT 1 Anxiety sets in, cue Clark Griswold
Scene 1: Friend: We should take the kids to New Hampshire one weekend this summer.
Me: Yeah that would be fun! (Inside me: OMG, this can go really bad or very good, no telling. My friend is going to hate us.)
Me and Friend make plans to drive up to New Hampshire with our families and enjoy the great outdoors, get away from it all.
Scene 2: Cringe. Leaving the dog with a dog sitter I never met before. She was not very rainbows and sparkles. Kids are crying, they have that gut feeling he is going to doggie heaven. You know what they say about kids, they have very good intuitions when something doesn’t seem right. Me driving away trying to calm them down, meanwhile my inner self is, “Bitch, I better get my dog back in the condition we left him in.”
Scene 3: Mentally prepping for the 4 hour ride.
Scene 4: Stop at the first liqour store once we cross the border. Fast forward $239 later, we are good shape for a while.
Scene 5: Are we there yet?
Scene 6: Destination reached, lunch served. Outdoor dining was beautiful, but surrounded by a plethora of flowers. Guess who loves flowers? BEES. Guess who hates bees? KIDS. Multiple scenes made in the restuarant by kids jumping at the pure sight of a bee, but the 2 glasses of pinot I drank helped make it less deafening for me. Maybe not for the poor patrons around us. Who the hell needs all those flowers outside in the dining area? Seriously!
Scene 7: Stop at a candy store. Spent $30 on gummies and shit I could have bought at the dollar store for less than $5. It’s the experience right? But those red licorice shoeslaces, OMG! I haven’t had those since I was a kid.
Scene 8: Stop at a local swimming creek, scouting for bears and googling what to do in case we get charged at. Water was refreshing, one kid almost got swept away, rescue mission successful. Thanks to my husband, 2 kids saved and someone’s croc. Enter scene: Rain. Big drops of rain. Mountain rain. Kids were okay with it though. I mean they were already wet. Mom, dad, and friends stand under a tree covering ourselves with towels while the kids enjoy themselves. Walk back to the car soaked.
Scene 9: Hotel. Mix up with the reservations. Slight moment there when we thought we had to rough it in the car because “There’s no more rooms in the valley” according to our ever so curteous desk clerk. Luckily it was straighted out and we got the “last room” available supposedly.
ACT 2 Note: In all scenes and in between, we are wearing masks and trying to stay far away from others, hoping not to bring The Rona back home. Masks in 90 degree weather.
Scene 10: Next day head up to Cranmore Mountain Adventure Park. $29 a person. As I prdicted, the 8 year old chickened out on every ride. The rides were not scary at all, I mean 4 year olds went on them. My kid however is afraid of her own shadow. Imagine what it was like taking her to Disney last year and loosing multiple Fast Passes because of her. Good times. Thank God Disney was so accomodating.
Scene 11: After enjoying the adventure park, we continue to the ski lift which takes you up the mountain for a scenic view and there’s alcohol up there! The 8 year old proceeds to scream and run away from me as I try to force her on. Not even ice cream could entice her. People are staring, wondering if I am her mom or her kidnapper. I yell, “You have no choice!” Friend continues to make that the quote of the weekend.
Scene 12: Another swimming creek. Enjoying my kids making memories with their friends. The whole time I’m thinking, I never got to do this when I was a kid. Happy moment and grateful they get to have this experience. Because parenting is about giving your kids the experiences you never had, right?
Scene 13: Next day, planned on visiting the outlets to do a little shopping, maybe some “mom time”. Nope. Can’t shop in peace. Cue the kids, “Can we go to another store?” So I bring them to the stores of their preference, then I hop in the car and head home, irritated and empty handed.
Scene 14: I could not get home fast enough. Husband was driving. He will drive in an empty 4 lane highway with one person in fromt of him and won’t think to switch lanes. I on the other hand, like to play this game called, “Beat the GPS.” I shaved off a few minutes, yes, and proud of it.
Scene 15: Pick up the dog, inspecting him all over, hoping Cruella didn’t give me another dog and play it off as my Otis, looking for painted marks, or scarring. He did smell awful but he was in one piece so I decide to be kind and thank her for her service.
Scene 16: My home. My shower. My couch. My bed. My memories made. And my friend is still talking to me.